I was about to test again, after wiping my saved variables. If you saw it working, that's a good sign. Apparently ADDON_LOADED does fire before PEW, but PLAYER_LOGIN may not. I went with the Wowpedia.org event loading process, albeit before I posted my question, I was not handling the event args correctly.
For some reason, I had this in my head, which clearly is not correct:
Code:
function MyAddOn:EventHandler(event, ...)
I am not sure where I got
event from as an argument, but that was debunked by my PEW print statements. I was doing the same in my original ADDON_LOADED, which is why I switched to PLAYER_LOGIN.