I've been looking for some Grid info today and happened across this:
http://www.wowace.com/addons/gridconfigurablelayouts/
Looks like that might do what you are looking for if you were to use Grid for your raid/group frames.
Group filters which allow you to create groups by Role (Tank, Melee, Healer, Ranged), Raid Group, Name Lists, Out of Zone and/or Offline, and Guild, as well as a catch-all filter (Everyone). You can allow repetitions, or have players appear only in the first group for which they match the filter.
Sorting within groups by Name, Raid Index, Class, or Role. You can also choose to have yourself appear at the beginning or your group, or even to manually specify names that you wish to appear first if present.
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(emphasis mine)